Oh Lordy....

Well, shows what happens when you get too smug, too soon....
I said I would publish my journey, good, bad or indifferent, so here we go. All was going really well until Tuesday. I had to attend an event which included work from my old company that I had been involved with and I was not looking forward to seeing people that I used to work with- I don't know why but I feel very awkward about it as I am still very angry about my redundancy and the way it was all handled, so I got a bit churned up about it all. However, I got through it, met an ex colleague for lunch and got on the train north to stay with my sister that evening. I had been out with my sis and bro for dinner and I had managed a day of moderation a la no S diet- then I happened to check my emails. This was about 10 30 UK time (pm). Without going in to too much detail here, when I was made redundant I was offered an oportunity on the US side of the company; same level of responsibility etc, based out of a great city there so as I was going out to the US for a wedding in May it was decided that I should interview then. I changed my flights, booked additional flights, sorted everything- and it was all set up for next week. The email was asking me to call the interviewer- on my own cell and my own expense incidentally- as she didn't know the time zone difference (???????) and how to call me internationally (????????????????!!!!!!!!!) so anyway at 11pm I got to speak with her only for her to tell me that they had gone ahead and interviewed locally and appointed so they wouldn't be interviewing me. She said that there was an opening at a lower level if I was interested- but why would I uproot myself and my husband to a new country, where he couldn't work for a good six months, for a job on a much lower payscale- and the likelihood of obtaining a visa at that level would be zilch anyway- So I declined. I was fuming. They obviously had no intention of seeing me and were going through the motions as an HR exercise. I was really angry as I had been looking quite seriously at this one.
The following day I got two more job application rejections so I was in a pretty depressed mood as I got on the train to go to yet another interview for a position I actually applied for prior to the redundancy and was pretty interested in but wasn't available yet. That went really well BUT it was a very long day and on the four hour journey back I was hit with the most overwhelming exhaustion- I can't explain it; it was as though I had suddenly been hit with a sledgehammer! From that moment all I wanted was sugar and carbs, and in a nutshell I spent the next 24 hours (cos it took that long to sort myself out which is why I am only blogging now) eating, well, crap. Things I NEVER touch usually. Today, Friday, I feel poisoned. seriously. I feel absolutely lousy, as though I have been drinking heavily and am hungover. This is the worst case of carb-blowout/ binge that I have experienced in a long time. But am I going to let it put me back? Not a chance.
In the past, If I had had a "bad" day (eating "off" whatever plan I was "on" at the time) I would really cut back the next day to make up for it. I realise that this will set up up to do the same again because I will get tired and hungry so I am going to act as though they didn't happen and revert to a normal N day. This is a marathon for me, not a sprint. I'm changing the habits of a lifetime.
Hope that wasn't too depressing. There's a lot of people out there going through the same stuff, I know.
I'll be back after the weekend> It's a big family bank holiday weekend so may not have time to post but I'm hoping that I can hold it together a bit more over the weekend than I have during the week!
Have a great weekend
Susie